is still reading…
They’re still killing
people and shit…
Yes, the ‘People’s Front of Devon’ is your voice against the imperialist might of grokland that has for far too long shovelled it’s imperialist filth into our beautiful country of Devon.
Well we say ‘NO MORE’ to the groks. It’s time to take our country back.
If the groks can have freedom from European rule, then we can have freedom from the grok’s rule – fair is fair, isn’t it!
The United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights recognizes play as the right of every child.
Should play also be the right of every adult, of every human being, if we are to continue growing a sound mind and body?
We propose that all work places will have mandatory play space for all employees to enjoy, complete with toys, with at least 15 minutes play time for every 2 hours worked. We’d like to hear from you, our members, your thoughts about playtime in the work place.
We the Health Committee of the People’s Front of Devon (HCPFD) hereby present our quarterly report to the membership.
During the last quarter we have been very busy monitoring a certain grok name ‘Greg’ who has set up shops all over our beloved country of Devon.
This Greg has shown an absolute disregard for the health and well being of the gentle folk of our beloved country of Devon in selling them substandard, non PFoD approved, pasties, and other such pastries and sundries.
Most of his products contain highly processed ingredients, cholesterol, saturated fats, refined carbs, refined lipids, non-essential amino acids and processed meats that the WHO have made clear cause ass cancer. We have no idea why anyone would want to sell things that they know cause ass cancer to unsuspecting innocent people but we think it’s rather naughty.
So it is very clear that once we shake off the shackles of grok rule in our beloved country of Devon, that this Greg guy will have to pay big time for the health problems that he is causing. Do you realise how much ass cancer costs to treat? There’s the costs of the doctors and specialists, all the tests, the surgery to have your ass and intestines removed and then, if you survive, it’s colostomy bags all the way to your grave and colostomy bags aren’t cheap either? And it’s not just paying for the bags themselves, it’s their disposal as well you have to consider – all that shit and plastic going to landfill ruining our beloved countryside of Devon.
So we’ve had enough, we’re not having groks coming in here ruining the health of our beloved gentle folk with their imperialist titbits.
While we do believe that the gentle folk of our beloved country of Devon should have choice in their purchases and what they chose to shove into their mouths, we have to, at the same time, make sure that good quality health care is provided to all our gentle folk and that that health care is paid for within fiscal limits – we don’t want to be getting in debt with the groks to fund your ass cancer treatment.
So in order to provide the best health care to all our gentle folk we proposed, seconded, and voted through, that this Greg guy will pay a tax on everything he sells in our beloved country of Devon. From the day we acheive freedom from grok rule, Greg, and other groks like him, will pay 100% tax on all sales that will be ring-fenced for health care throughout our beloved country of Devon.
That includes that clown bloke, ‘Ronald’ whose always offering children gifts to come home with him (that ain’t right, it ain’t); the usurper, ‘King Burger’; his colonel, that chicken man with that nasty facial hair; and all the rest of them grok lot. Basically, it is now PFD policy that any grok selling processed food and drink will pay 100% tax on all sales that, as we have stated, will be ring-fenced solely for the healthcare for our beloved gentle folk of Devon.
We reckon that’s a proper good policy.
Let us know your thoughts, especially if you have you caught ass cancer from eating non PFD approved pasties. Let us know.
Next week, we can look forward to some thoughts from the Crime and Justice spokesperson – he/she/they (i’m never quite sure what pronoun to use so i’ll use all three to make sure i hit the target and not offend the LGBTQXYZ lot) will be letting us know something that the Crime and Justice committee have been talking about. No, i’ve no idea what it is yet, either.
Jenny from Dartmouth says…
I found your Defence Committee’s article in the last issue quite informative. Although i have to say i’m rather upset.
The Naval College spends a fair bit of money in Dartmouth, and if they go then i’ll have to buy a lot of my own drinks on a Friday and Saturday evening.
How do you expect single mums to enjoy a social life in Dartmouth without the generosity of these young men?
Well, Jenny, it’s great that you find our articles informative, this is exactly what we hope them to be for our members and potential members alike.
While we’d like to sympathise with your plight of having to buy your own drinks instead of whoring yourself to groks for free ones, we simply cannot condone that kind of behaviour, and it just shows the level of corruption and depravity that the imperialist forces have sown amongst our young and impressionable youth.
What you need to consider is the health benefits of such a move. You’ll no longer be at risk of STI’s and your liver will thank you as well.
With a much lower risk of STI’s and a good healthy liver, you’ll save the Devon Health Service a lot of money and our beautiful country of Devon will be most grateful for your small sacrifice to the cause.
PS. Have you considered a more consructive social life? We hear that Dartmouth has quite a good book club and also a most entertaining stitch and bitch circle – both great social events for unmarried mothers such as yourself as you can take the kids along too.
Popular People’s Front of Devon says…
How come you lot have got a website? How does that all work?
F*** off, splitters!